The Final Blow
by Fantasygirl721
Summary: After the events of Kill Ari Part 2, Tony is plagued with dark thoughts and long hidden fears. One-shot Tony/Ducky friendship, Tony/Gibbs as Father/Son.


Disclaimer: Never claimed that I owned it.

Summary: After the events of Kill Ari Part 2, Tony is plagued with dark thoughts and long hidden fears. One-shot Tony/Ducky friendship, Tony/Gibbs Father/Son.

The Final Blow

"You know, Anthony, it's never good to drink alone." The elderly Scotsman sat next to the young agent, who was nursing his third strong drink. Glancing at the bartender, he asked, "Give me a scotch, would you."

The agent, Tony, did not respond to the man next to him. He held the glass loosely in his hand, slowly swishing the contents around and watching the patterns of the bourbon against the clear glass. For a moment the two friends sat in silence, both lost somewhere in the depths of their minds. "Caitlin," the elder man continued, "would not have wanted this for you."

Tony snorted into his drink, "What Kate would have wanted doesn't matter anymore. She's dead, Ducky."

Ducky sighed, "Come and join the rest of us." He gestured with his free hand towards the table where the rest of the team had gathered to remember the fallen agent, their friend. "Please Anthony, don't do this."

"Do what?" Tony snapped irritably. Dear God, all he wanted was to be left alone. All he had to do was get over this gnawing fear that had been chewing away at the pit of his stomach. He quickly knocked back the rest of his drink and held up the glass, asking for a refill.

Ducky's hand, surprisingly strong, grabbed Tony's wrist and pushed it back down against the bar. "I think that's enough, my boy. Tell me what is bothering you."

"Why do you care?" Nobody ever cared, not for Tony DiNozzo. They would laugh with him and at him, they would mock him and insult him, they would order him around and ask his professional opinion. But they never cared for the man, the man who was so desperate for one sign of affection, desperate to be part of something larger than himself.

Ducky stared at the younger man in surprise. "Of course I care for you, Anthony, you are my friend." Tony scoffed, his wrist twitching in Ducky's grasp. "We all miss Caitlin, she was a fine woman."

"Don't I know," Tony mumbled. And he did know -- he had been her partner for two years. She was brave, smart, a great agent, though too much of a prude for his taste. She was one of the few people he really cared about, and now she was dead.

Watching him intently, Ducky realized his mistake. "But it's not Caitlin that is driving you to drink tonight, is it?" He took the lack of response as a yes. "Well then, what is bothering you?"

Tony shook his head, "It's nothing Ducky. Just some dark thoughts."

"You have two choices, Anthony. You either tell me what's wrong, or I will get Jethro over here to ask you himself." Tony gave him his best _you-wouldn't-dare_ look, only to be stared down with steely resolve. "Whatever is bothering you must be important since you rarely drink like this."

Glancing back at his boss, Tony felt a strange tug at his heart. Gibbs was sitting at the table, smiling as Abby animatedly described some story, probably involving Kate. He loved Gibbs like a father, not that he'd ever admit that to anyone. After the years of pain and heartache that his natural father had put him through, Tony desperately needed someone who he could turn to, always trust and depend on, even if that man did not care for him. And if that man happened to be the one who plucked him from the Baltimore Police Department and gave him the job and life he had always been craving, so be it.

"It's stupid, really." Tony muttered under his breath. "It doesn't even make sense."

Ducky inched his chair closer to the young man, whose head was bowed as if he was under some intense strain. "Let me be the judge of that."

Wrenching his hand up, Tony snagged a bartender and a refill before he began. "I've been thinking about the Ari situation lately."

"Haven't we all Anthony," Ducky consoled, "but there was nothing you could have done to save her."

"I know!" He countered, the anger translating into his hands as his glass shook and spilled. "Ari was going after those closest to Gibbs. He wanted to make Gibbs suffer, right?"

"Well, that did seem to be his MO," Ducky responded, not entirely sure when the agent was going with this. "Ari was a cruel bastard, and his targets suggest that."

Tony's throat clenched, a strange mixture of a sob and a gasp escaping past his lips. Turning his head from Ducky, he stared at the wall, forcing his expression to be neutral. "He first shot at Probie right?" Ducky nodded in confirmation. "Then he killed Kate, went after Abby, lured you out, and even shot at the new director."

"Yes…" Ducky was confused, they had just lived this case, why was Tony going over it so obsessively?

Finally Tony drew a ragged breath, "Anyone missing from the list, Ducky?"

A light went off in Ducky's mind as he realized what dark paths Tony's thoughts had been wandering. "He never targeted you."

"Right," Tony hissed, "the son of a bitch ignored me. And why would that be?" Ducky stared at Tony, his mouth open slightly. "I'll tell you why. Because Ari knew that Gibbs wouldn't care if I lived or died."

Ducky did not know what to do. Tony was obviously wrong, Gibbs cared very much if Tony lived or died, just had an odd way of showing it. "Anthony…you know that's not true."

"Isn't it?" Tony quipped bitterly. There was a part of him, a very real part of him, which wondered sometimes. Abby received hugs and kisses, Probie complements, Ducky smiles, and Tony…head slaps and insults. "If that's so, then I was passed over why? Because I'm too handsome to die?"

Ducky heaved a sigh of relief, if Tony was enough of himself to wisecrack, then he still was fundamentally okay. "Anthony, I know Jethro doesn't always show it, but he does care about you." A slight lift and drop of his shoulders was the only sign that he had heard him. "Perhaps more than you realize."

Tony scoffed. "Yeah, I'm sure he loves me like the son he never had." The was a sadness and bitterness in that one sentence that betrayed more about Tony's mental state than years of knowing him had. Ducky's heart clenched as he looked at the boy, and wondered what on Earth could have hurt him bad enough to leave his self-esteem in tatters.

"Actually my boy, he does." Tony's head snapped up, disbelief warring with hope. "Jethro is a very private man, especially about his feelings. Remember that time we lost you when were undercover with the murderer? You should have seen Jethro then. I swear he was jumping down everyone's throat and practically crawling out of his skin until he got you back."

Tony's eyes were shining with moisture as he stared back down at his glass. Part of him wanted to brush it off with a witty remark, but man he kept hidden behind his mask that was Tony clung to it with such ferocity that it scared him. "But then why-" He wasn't able to finish his sentence, so he gulped down his drink so fast that it nearly gagged him.

'

"Anthony," Ducky said softly, his voice husky with emotion, "I think the reason Ari never approached you was because he never had the chance."

"What do you mean, there were plenty of opportunities."

"No," he countered firmly, "not if he wanted to save you for last." Tony looked up, confusion flashing through his eyes. "Ari could see what you missed. He knew that you are the most important to him, that your death would be the last final blow that would destroy Jethro."

"No," Tony murmured, "it was you that was last…."

"Jethro loves you like a son. I may be a very old friend of his, but you are the one he loves. He would rather die than lose you. Do you understand me?" His eyes glistening, Tony nodded. "So are you coming over to join us?"

"Yeah Ducky, just give me a moment."

Satisfied that the worst was over, Ducky nodded at Tony and wandered back over to the rest of the team. In this one night he had learned a lot about Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Suddenly the childish antics and pleas for attention made sense. Somewhere someone, and Ducky had a very strong suspicion as to who, had taken young Anthony's heart and soul and shattered it. Anger and protectiveness surged through the old Scotsman. He'll be damned if something like this ever happens again! Anthony is valued and loved and deserves to know it and find comfort in it.

"You're back, Ducky," Gibbs commented as he took his seat.

"Yes I am," he said as he took the seat next to Abby, leaving a space between him and Gibbs for Tony.

"And how's Tony?" Abby blurted, she had been worried about her friend all night.

"Oh he's fine," Ducky replied, sending Gibbs a look that he knew the Agent would understand. Gibbs closed his eyes as he realized what must have been happening. "He'll be over any minute."

"You talking about me?" A cheery voice queried over his shoulder.

"Of course, my boy, just spreading rumors. You do acquire a lot of them."

"Well, when you're something to talk about, I guess people just can't help themselves."

"Finally decided to join us, DiNozzo," Gibbs spat gruffly.

"I figured you missed my charming presence, boss," he retorted as he took his seat. "So, what did I miss?"

"Nothing important, Tony," Gibbs said as he gave the younger man an uncharacteristic squeeze on the shoulder. For a moment their eyes met, and in that briefest of glances Gibbs managed to convey to Tony that he was important, and that he was glad he had pulled through this unharmed.

Tony smiled, relief flowing through him. Gibbs may not have said anything, but like all good fathers, he was able to say so much without saying a single word.

Fin

A/N Just something that popped into my head after seeing the Kill Ari episodes for the first time. I'm new to the fandom so let me know how I did. If you review I will hug you all in my mind.


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